Its been one week since i blogged...


I have never been so coonfused in my life.I dunno whats wrong lah.Everyday i keep waiting for someone to ask me go out or sumthing.But there's noone.When i do ask them,no is the answer.Haiz...I am so bored.Nobody to spend their time with me.Only family.Friends dont think of friends anymore.they think of their bfs.Thats all.

Camp was cold.Very cold.Campfire was fun.Very fun.Activities were sweaty.Very sweaty.HAHAHAHA.

Starting to think of him again.He needs his own time for himself.I dont.I dont need time for myself.I need someone to share my time.I can sacrifice my time for someone that could bring me happiness in the name of love.But what do i get now?Nothing.I just feel as though...i dunno lah.i dunno who he likes now.Who hes thinking of.What hes doing when he's "busy" or "away".he cant be playing games 24/7.I just feel paranoid,damn,i am paranoid.

^-^ but i do love you.

;NoorUsmah

These days sucks,

Just absolutely nobody to entertain me.No companionship,no friendship,no relationship,noTHING.

Sometimes friends betray friends,well,nobody betrayed me yet,ill just keep a high lookout for any signs of mischevious betrayal...Not that im hoping for one of course.I guess i should be like faliq,such a easy going person.If friends dont like us,who cares,as long as we dont become enemies with them.Technology can help us from being lonely,thats what i noticed from him.The problem is we can decrease our social bar.Some of these things also can lead to depression.

I'll be in 3e4 next year,not that im stupider than the others,theres just no space.With the help of those clever 2e1 kids,they can regain my confidence in being super duper clever again.I hope so.3e3's a fun class but they can be too rowdy,thats what i imagined it to be.A fun,outgoing,happy class.3e4 is just going to be just plain dull.But we'll achieve better results in years to come.I hope.

There's many hopes for me this month.One of them is i hope i can accept to changes that will occur soon.Friends will start changing and everything due to the class theyre into.I'm here just praying i have a good teacher to teach me into being a clever student.Sec 3 means i will be a upper sec student.Means having to study everyday even after school with friends.Less playing,more of studying.I can see myself working hard to fit more logic into this teeny-weeny-growing-bigger-brain of mine.

Malaysia holiday was great,yeah.But came back to Singapore,everything started to turn bad luck for me.Everything.I just notice that some people just change so incredibly fast.Including me.I start to think that the whole world is against me.Nobody wants me.I'm starting to hate myself for many particular reasons especially for what i have done these few days like quarreling with friends over such minor things.

Small things do matter to me.Thats a quote from Ridwan.It's true.It do matter to me.Even the slightest small things people talk,got me thinking,are people hating ?
Friends bond with friends.Friends fight with friends.In the end,friends ignore friends.Should i say anymore more clearly than this ?You dont have to comfort me,friend.I just HOPE;again that you,as my friend know that i dont give a damn to these apologies.I may look quiet but im swearing and cursing inside.

Just a slight reminder to you guys,i love you.Dont get the wrong idea to all of these things im writing in this blog as these things are what im thinking.Hope you guys understand how im feeling right now,


;NoorUsmah

It's time for me to go,

I can't wait to go ,but also can't wait to go back when i'm there.
So many things await me there,yet so little things awaits me here.
I'm gone to KL for 8 days on a someone-special birthday nighttime.

I will miss everyone,
haiz.
but i guess i'll be very happy there.
Shopping and everything.
If i'm lucky,i'll buy new spectacles over there.

When i come back, can have a date with him again.
Well,just one date i guess with HIM.
But maybe i can make it multiple.If i know how to
make him love me again.
I'll try the W.C.S method.
Use words to make him feel special.
Use contact with the eyes and skin.
Use seduce to make him feel weak all over.

Hah.As if.
He wo'nt and don't like me.
GIVE UP USMAH.
YOU'RE A ASSHOLE.
Guys won't like me.
I'm sure of it

Some words for my dear frends,KEBABS:

I know i did alot of wrong towards you guys.
I shouted alot of vulgar,i showed alot of hatred.
I dont know whats wrong with me these few days,guys.
I love you guys.So so much.
I really didnt mean to hurt you guys and make you guys hate me.
I dont want you guys to avoid me or neglect me.
I just dont know what to say but say sorry.
I will change for you guys,just you wait.
Cause a person can't live without friends.(:

P.S: happy birthday faliq.i love you.

;NoorUsmah

the present for you,guess what it is?

okay,

im having fun with today's and yesterday's activities.
today,fitri went to school all okay..no more vomit.
wow,is it true that he got the latest PS3 console ?
whatever then...
He's been ignoring me and its been a long time since i
chatted with him and had contact with him..
seriously,nothing to do in this damn room,
its cold,boring and makes my eyes sleepy..
but i just wanna have fun with my friends before i leave to
K.L from 6 th november night to 14 th november.
tomorrow i planned to buy something for him
but of course,he wnt appreciate it,
he already got a ps3.
he already got what he wanted.
so?
whatever then.its hate that i love you.
oh yeah,aqueen is VERY irritating..
she's always disturbing me.
and i called her a bitch.
Take it or leave it , boitch.
felix,
concluded that :

" only a bitchy bitch will say a bitch bitch,bitch "

stupid conclusion,but true.
i am a bitchy bitch.

Aqueenlah is called a ESKIMO now.
She really looks like ESKIMO.
HHAHA.

somemore of my camwhore moments ...


;NoorUsmah

Hey guy,

I've been missing you so much lately

& yeah, of course, i should'nt hope for much..

IMY too much

that could'nt be helped !

I'm here in eng SLC thinking what am i going to do with my life ?

I WANT YOU .

so? what do i care *you probably think

& im not going to sit here and just think about it,,,

IM GONNA MAKE SURE IT HAPPENS,

but of course,if it were'nt to be,its okayy...


i love you so much.
i want to be your princess
i want to be your prom night date...

;NoorUsmah